From Survivor to Advocate: How One Mother Turned a Crisis into a Calling

Years before she ever sat across from clients as an advocate, helping them rebuild their lives, she was in the same position herself. Scared, starting over, and unsure what would come next.

She had just left a dangerous relationship. With a young daughter and another child on the way, she needed safety quickly. A local DHS worker made a call that changed everything, connecting her to Friends of the Family. Within days, she was inside our shelter, beginning a new chapter.

“I was there for about 30 days,” she recalls. “At that point, I just needed somewhere safe to land.”

NM grew up in NE Iowa and entered foster care as a teen, remaining there until she turned 18. After graduating high school, she moved frequently across states, searching for stability but often encountering setbacks.

By the time she entered the shelter, she was navigating multiple overlapping challenges. Leaving an abusive relationship. Parenting a toddler while pregnant. Maintaining employment. Facing housing instability with limited support. Even with a job as a CNA and a car, the path forward was hard to see.

“There was a lot going on,” she says. “Working, having kids, trying to stay on top of everything, it was overwhelming.”

Shortly after her time in shelter, she enrolled in one of our housing programs, which helped her move into stable housing within about a month. Her advocate worked alongside her, helping her find a new job better suited to her situation and offering something just as valuable: a listening ear.

“That was one of the biggest things,” she says. “Having someone sit with me, listen, talk through things, not just in a clinical way, but like a real person. That mattered so much.”

Her advocate always remained open and understanding, adapting to her reality rather than expecting perfection. Within about eight months, she was stable enough to exit the program. After just a few months of assistance, she was paying her own rent consistently.

In the years that followed, she rebuilt her life step by step. She worked various jobs, eventually becoming a licensed insurance agent, but something was missing.

“I’m a people person,” she explains. “But I didn’t want to sell something to someone just to hit a number. It didn’t feel right.”

When she learned that Friends of the Family was hiring, it immediately struck a chord.

“I thought about what they had done for me,” she says. “And I realized this could be my way of giving back.”

Today, she has been with Friends of the Family for six years. She started as a crisis advocate in the shelter and now works directly with clients in housing programs, helping them secure stability and rebuild their lives. She doesn’t rely on a formal degree, but on something equally powerful: lived experience.

“I’ve been there,” she says. “And clients can tell.”

That shared understanding helps her build trust quickly, especially with individuals who may be skeptical of systems or hesitant to open up.

“If sharing part of my story helps someone feel safe enough to trust me, I’ll do it,” she says. “Because that’s when the real progress starts.”

Her role as an advocate is anything but one-size-fits-all. Each client comes with different needs, and she meets them where they are. On any given day, she might help a client secure identification or a driver’s license, provide transportation to medical appointments or food pantries, assist with employment searches, or simply sit and listen, offering emotional support.

“Sometimes the most important thing is just being there,” she says. “Making sure people feel seen, heard, and safe.”

She has witnessed powerful transformations, from parents working to reunite with their children to individuals finding the confidence to pursue employment after years of doubt.

“One client hadn’t worked in six years,” she remembers. “But after working together, she got a job and now she’s thriving. You could see how proud she was. That’s everything.”

Her experience also shapes how she sees the system—and what still needs to improve. Barriers like application fees, limited funding for household items, and lack of resources can make rebuilding even harder.

“It’s tough to put someone into an empty apartment,” she says. “They’re technically housed, but they’re sleeping on the floor with nothing. We need more resources to truly set people up for success.”

Her own life today reflects the stability she once worked so hard to achieve. She spends time with her children and friends, enjoys grilling outdoors, visiting farmers markets, and gathering around bonfires.

Perhaps the biggest lesson she carries is one she wishes more people understood:

“Anyone can end up in this situation,” she says. “It doesn’t matter your job, your education, your background. Life can change fast.”

She’s worked with people from all walks of life. There have been nurses, professionals, individuals with advanced degrees, who found themselves unhoused after just one difficult turn.

“That’s why organizations like this matter,” she says. “Because when everything falls apart, people need somewhere to go—and someone who will help them rebuild.”

Friends of the Family is more than a shelter. It is a pathway back to stability, dignity, and hope—for people who often feel like they have none left.

Her story is proof that, with the right support, change is possible.

You can help make that change happen. Your support ensures that more people have the chance not only to rebuild their lives, but one day, like her, help others do the same.